You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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