Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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