my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
