I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
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I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
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According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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