sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
