you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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