If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.