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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Acid is not a monday night drug

  Fav 44 2022 4509

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.

  Fav 22 1934 4265

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  23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  what are we doing this weekend?

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.

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  These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude

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• (512): View more from Texas

  If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.

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