Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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