p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
