Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
