We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
