I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
