yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
