all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
