That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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