Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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