When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
