Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
