Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
