haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
