I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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