david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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