I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize