Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
is it fun? or sober?
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