I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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