when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My vagina is officially offended.
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