There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
