3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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