the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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