I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
