so that wasnt chicken after all
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
