O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
