bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize