I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
