Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize