Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just cut my nipple shaving
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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