I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
