Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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