so explain again why im purple
no
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
