Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
