the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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