sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
