The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
