quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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