so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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