ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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