I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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