hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
