I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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