I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
