There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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