It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
this just has baby written all over it
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
