she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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