No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
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My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
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He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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