why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
