Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
