Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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