walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
