just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
This toilet bowl is my home.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
