I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize