Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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