his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
