i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
