So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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