she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
