omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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