My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
